Autobiographical Fictions
by Seta Suzume
Summary: These are the molds Luc and Sarah have created for their lives.


**Autobiographical Fictions**

by Suzume (for kinkfest on ij)

Nov. 2-3, 2008

In the narrative I had constructed of my life, I was obviously the heroine.

No matter how one views one's importance in the scheme of things, ultimately, but virtue of one's thoughts coming from within oneself, a person is always the center of their own story. Most of the time I went about not thinking of this story. I just did what needed to be done without considering it in such a large, over-arching sense. Thinking of my own story while it happened made me too self-aware. I just couldn't do it. ...But when I was alone and feeling melodramatic, either out of self-pity or my romantic imagination running wild, I pictured myself as a tragic heroine.

It probably didn't help any that I was living a life full of tension and movement, doing my best to support Master Luc in his suicidal mission and trying to keep up at least a semblance of normalcy along the way. We had to live slowly, taking everything one day at a time. Despite Master Luc's anxiety to be rid of the curse of the True Wind Rune as soon as possible, it took time to establish the necessary credentials and connections in Harmonia to convince the Harmonian government that this invasion of the Grasslands would be in their best interests. From Lin-Nyang to Crystal Valley to Campanella to Caleria we advanced inch by inch toward his goal and I did my best to savor every moment with him, treasuring it as though it would be my last. I had many such times when he went on business to the Temple. For fear of being recognized, or at least oppressed by her memories those curved, white walls, I would not go there.

He looked, he leaned, hanging over the railing, and reached out his hand to me on his way out the door. On tiptoe, I stretched and strained to clasp his gloved hand. "Sarah. I'll be back later," he said.

"Come back safely," I answered.

The door closed behind him and after this rosy moment of communion of the eyes, reality set it. Yuber grinned at me, his eyes hidden by the brim of his hat. He lounged in the patched, dirty armchair- a predator at rest. "You may just be a kitten, but a cat in heat's a cat in heat regardless of age," the demon laughed, quiet but threatening.

I started to back away toward the bedroom Luc and I were forced to share due to the cramped size of our flat. I did not dare break the crackling eye contact between Yuber and I. Any sign of weakness or drop in my guard could provide an opportunity for him to pounce. It wasn't until I found myself safely locked in the bedroom that I allowed my wild imagination to create its flippant distortions of fact.

Yuber was the first thing to go when I turned to crafting fiction.

_I watched the door for several minutes after it closed, hoping that he might turn back for one reason or another- he had forgotten his jacket, he needed to remind me to pick up some more bread at the market... Or even to come back to tell me that he was abandoning his plan. He would suffer on, bearing his rune a while longer because he could not bear to either leave me or see me die at his side. ...But he did not turn back. Master Luc was determined and brace, so I could not do him the disservice of being anything less._

I sighed and flopped down on the bedspread, staring up at the ceiling, making shapes out of the swirling stucco.

******

The streets were mostly dark as I weaved my way along to our flat. The few lantern lights along the way served many to cast long, winding shadows across the cobblestones. Though Albert and Yuber would probably be there too, there was only one person who was actually waiting specifically for me.

_With longing in her eyes, she gazed out the small side window, hoping to catch sight of me as I strode down the path. But the darkness of the night swept me up and the thickness of the glass only furthered her difficulty in making out the shapes that moved beyond the circle of light just outside our door_

I shook my head. The stress must be getting to me. That had to be it. That and this blasted rune.

Understandably, I was tired when I got home. Well, it wasn't exactly a home to me, but it was the place I stayed, so it was, temporarily, home. And the important part was that I was tired. So tired that my mind trailed off on foolish fancies, the kind that Sarah entertained in her off moments. I had never thought of myself as that type of person, but in my mind I still saw my brother groveling at my feet, crying bitterly at the injustice that had been done to me and his tacit approval of it.

Sarah came out to greet me, leaving Albert and Yuber sitting at the kitchen table, talking in muted tones over a battered newspaper. "Welcome back," she smiled. Her usual poise and restraint were evident in her perfect posture. I nodded and removed my mask.

"I missed you," she added, as I stepped forward, meaning to pass her and continue on into the kitchen. I felt like I could use a strong cup of tea. My nerves needed calming. I was caught in a swirl of anxiety and motion and I was growing sick of being patient. Harmonia was awash with bureaucracy. I longed to take a blade and simply slice through all the red tape as easily as if it were a cobweb.

Instead of continuing on, I listened to Sarah's words and I stopped. Why should I waste the time I was given? If I could not make the haste I so desired, this was no fault of Sarah's. I turned and pulled her into my arms in a tight hug. Her eyes were as wide as I'd seen them in quite some time. Well, I could still manage to be unexpected every so often, couldn't I?

Over Sarah's shoulder, I could see Albert glancing at us over his mug of coffee, but I ignored him. At least Yuber didn't notice us (small miracles). As helpful as Albert was when it came to my plan, he meant nothing in regards to my relationship with Sarah. And though that relationship might intersect with my plan as Sarah played her part in my mission, it was also a very private and very separate story- a love story.


End file.
